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Archives for 2021

How Marie Kondo’s Netflix series Sparking Joy has inspired me to “Spark Joy” in my own life

September 6, 2021 by Christina

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The past 10 years I have found myself inching toward the simple life. In my 20s I was into shopping, extravagant vacations, fancy cars, big house, designer bags and the list goes on. In my 30s I am increasingly craving simplicity and dare I say minimalism.

When people hear the term minimalism they think bare rooms, no furniture, owning only 7 outfits and a few everyday dishes. I don’t think I will ever be a minimalist but could stand to live more simply and with a lot less.

In recent years, the various trends related to cleaning and decluttering have intrigued me. Everything from Marie Kondo’s suggestion to “Spark Joy” to the Swedish method of “Death Cleaning.”

And, It’s not just about reducing the amount of stuff I own. I’m always coming across people’s stories about living more sustainable lifestyles through reducing waste, producing their own food, living tiny and/or off grid, etc. All of these lifestyles are appealing and inspiring.

One of the problems I face is never knowing where or how to get started. I’m too much of an “all or nothing” kind of personality type. This is not the easiest way to be and I’m working on it.

Marie Kondo’s method

Marie Kondo’s famous method of tidying up focuses on the goal of only keeping things in your home that “spark joy.” I’m not knocking her method at all as I’m a true fan and have all of her books. But, one can agree there are many things in our homes that don’t spark joy but we must keep for various reasons.

When we sum up her two Netflix series both Tidying Up and Sparking Joy they are essentially just people organizing their spaces. Again, no hate here. I’m a sucker for a good before and after tour.

I completed her method maybe 5 or 6 years ago after her first book came out and before kids. It is liberating to let go of so much stuff all in one go. And, in a perfect world we would all put life on hold for a solid week and touch every item we own. This is difficult to make happen but probably essential to make stick.

As a mom of two with another on the way the more feasible way I’ve been decluttering has been by space. Which, I know is a no-no according to Marie but is the way it is right now.

As I have reduced the number of toys in the playroom and gadgets in the kitchen I am continually amazed at how having a little less goes a long way. In my quest to “declutter” I seem to run into the same dilemmas time after time.

Here are a few things that make it hard for me to let go

  1. It has sentimental value.
  2. This might fit one day.
  3. Even though my kids don’t enjoy this doesn’t mean the next one won’t
  4. One can never have too many books.
  5. I paid good money for this and it’s barely used
  6. I have the space to store this so why not keep it?

When the problem is too much space

Often times we see advertising for “small space storage solutions” or “tips on how to organize a small space”. But what if the problem is not too little space? Maybe it feels like too much space.

Now, we have a large house and property with ample storage embedded throughout. This makes it far too easy to acquire and store lots of worthless stuff. Have you seen the show Hoarders? Well, that’s what some of the storage spaces were starting to look like on our property.

As I have clarified my goals and exercised my decision making skills, reducing our inventory is easier than ever before. The idea of blank space has never been more appealing to me than now.

One of the mindset shifts I have made in the past year is “just because there is empty space, doesn’t mean we have to fill it.” I like the idea of empty extra drawers and cupboards with only a few necessary items.

I think about traveling and packing for travel. When I stay in a hotel for a few weeks with only the contents of my suitcase it is very easy to keep the space and its contents tidy and organized. Yet, I have everything I need. So, why can’t my everyday life at home feel that way?

I have gone back and forth for the last few years on whether or not this big old farmhouse was a mistake. With its unconventional layout and overly large rooms it often feels impossible to maintain and keep tidy, not to mention a waste of space to heat and cool.

After much debate alongside some moderate house hunting and extensive soul searching, we have decided to stay put. And, even though the square footage of our home is as large as ever, by reducing the contents inside, the whole house feels more luxurious.

Stay tuned for my upcoming home experiment. Have you ever wondered if downsizing your space will truly upsize your happiness? I wonder this All. The. Time. And, soon I will have more insight into whether this would speak true for our family.

Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

-Christina

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Decluttering, Korean Adoptee, Marie Kondo, Minimalism, Sparking Joy

Looking Korean as a Korean Adoptee

February 6, 2021 by Christina

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Embracing being Asian has been difficult for me as a Korean Adoptee.

In the beginning…

For the first 30 years of my life I avoided anything that was even remotely Asian. I grew up in the 80s and 90s before the internet and long before social media. There were few notable Asian people featured in mainstream media and even fewer I knew in real life.

Kids in school had never seen an Asian person in real life before meeting me and my siblings. I looked different from everyone else around me and knew it. I spent the last 30 years working through my racial insecurities.

Growing up I can recall so many times where I changed myself and/or my reaction to something for fear of not fitting in or being labeled different. I acted uninterested toward Asian related things. For example, in school I remember doing units in school on Asia and felt so uncomfortable sitting in those classrooms.

I would fake stomachaches to get out of going to school or would be borderline disruptive with friends to show my disinterest in the topic. I remember teachers asking me if my family had any traditions or special meals I would like to share…

These memories are horrifying for my self to look back on. Such trivial moments for an adult to process but definitely traumatizing for an adolescent transracial adoptee trying to find herself.

Acceptance as an Adult…

I have plenty of accomplishments and accolades under my belt. My personality makes the drive for success a constant endeavor of mine. But I wonder how much of this drive is to make up for some inner struggle from not accepting my whole self.

The turning point for me was when my first child entered this world. It is a love like no other. I want her to be proud and unashamed of her mixed Korean heritage. Loving myself and my own Korean-ness is something I have struggled with my whole life.

What I wish for my younger self and for my children is a sense of pride and ownership over being Asian American. I think in the age of social media and the internet people are able to more fully express themselves than ever before. This is not to say it is without fear but with courage to put themselves out there.

There are so many examples of beautiful and successful Asian individuals in our society today. Not more than when I was growing up but more are able to rise up without the oppression of racially-filtered media. Social media and the internet has no doubt changed modern society in big ways. Such monumental change comes with good and bad to process.

As an adult transracial adoptee I feel blessed to live in a time where my children will have access to more than I did. I feel inclined to share my journey as a Korean Adoptee to help other adoptees and adoptive families.

For my children…

Back to my children and my quest to embrace our Korean heritage. It’s complicated.

Being an adoptee it is difficult to embrace something for which you have never known. For me it’s almost like trying to become something that others assumed you already are.

My intention to instill a sense of pride and ownership over our Korean background starts with exposure. Exposure to the language, food and cultural traditions in the best way we know how.

My children already have the advantage of seeing a whole lot more people who share their ethnic background than I ever did. They also have me and my siblings who are also Korean. They will never feel alone in the same ways that we did having a parent who is of the same race.

So it has taken me over 30 years to embrace my “Asian-ness.” For some adoptees I’m sure it is much earlier than this and for others that may never happen (I know more of the latter group in my personal life.)

There are moments where I can genuinely say that I am proud to look and be an Asian American. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I am comfortable in my skin every time I walk outside my house but believe it or not this is major progress for me. The journey continues and I’m excited to see what this evolving mindset brings to me in the future.

Thanks for reading!

-Christina

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

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Hi! I’m Christina,

I am a Korean Adoptee with New England Roots! Living and Loving New England Country Life while raising our babies and restoring our 1820s Farmhouse.  Homesteading and Farmhouse Inspiration. Coffee and Tea Lover. Book Addict.

Grab a cup of tea and stay a while!

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