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Korean Adoptee

How Marie Kondo’s Netflix series Sparking Joy has inspired me to “Spark Joy” in my own life

September 6, 2021 by Christina

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The past 10 years I have found myself inching toward the simple life. In my 20s I was into shopping, extravagant vacations, fancy cars, big house, designer bags and the list goes on. In my 30s I am increasingly craving simplicity and dare I say minimalism.

When people hear the term minimalism they think bare rooms, no furniture, owning only 7 outfits and a few everyday dishes. I don’t think I will ever be a minimalist but could stand to live more simply and with a lot less.

In recent years, the various trends related to cleaning and decluttering have intrigued me. Everything from Marie Kondo’s suggestion to “Spark Joy” to the Swedish method of “Death Cleaning.”

And, It’s not just about reducing the amount of stuff I own. I’m always coming across people’s stories about living more sustainable lifestyles through reducing waste, producing their own food, living tiny and/or off grid, etc. All of these lifestyles are appealing and inspiring.

One of the problems I face is never knowing where or how to get started. I’m too much of an “all or nothing” kind of personality type. This is not the easiest way to be and I’m working on it.

Marie Kondo’s method

Marie Kondo’s famous method of tidying up focuses on the goal of only keeping things in your home that “spark joy.” I’m not knocking her method at all as I’m a true fan and have all of her books. But, one can agree there are many things in our homes that don’t spark joy but we must keep for various reasons.

When we sum up her two Netflix series both Tidying Up and Sparking Joy they are essentially just people organizing their spaces. Again, no hate here. I’m a sucker for a good before and after tour.

I completed her method maybe 5 or 6 years ago after her first book came out and before kids. It is liberating to let go of so much stuff all in one go. And, in a perfect world we would all put life on hold for a solid week and touch every item we own. This is difficult to make happen but probably essential to make stick.

As a mom of two with another on the way the more feasible way I’ve been decluttering has been by space. Which, I know is a no-no according to Marie but is the way it is right now.

As I have reduced the number of toys in the playroom and gadgets in the kitchen I am continually amazed at how having a little less goes a long way. In my quest to “declutter” I seem to run into the same dilemmas time after time.

Here are a few things that make it hard for me to let go

  1. It has sentimental value.
  2. This might fit one day.
  3. Even though my kids don’t enjoy this doesn’t mean the next one won’t
  4. One can never have too many books.
  5. I paid good money for this and it’s barely used
  6. I have the space to store this so why not keep it?

When the problem is too much space

Often times we see advertising for “small space storage solutions” or “tips on how to organize a small space”. But what if the problem is not too little space? Maybe it feels like too much space.

Now, we have a large house and property with ample storage embedded throughout. This makes it far too easy to acquire and store lots of worthless stuff. Have you seen the show Hoarders? Well, that’s what some of the storage spaces were starting to look like on our property.

As I have clarified my goals and exercised my decision making skills, reducing our inventory is easier than ever before. The idea of blank space has never been more appealing to me than now.

One of the mindset shifts I have made in the past year is “just because there is empty space, doesn’t mean we have to fill it.” I like the idea of empty extra drawers and cupboards with only a few necessary items.

I think about traveling and packing for travel. When I stay in a hotel for a few weeks with only the contents of my suitcase it is very easy to keep the space and its contents tidy and organized. Yet, I have everything I need. So, why can’t my everyday life at home feel that way?

I have gone back and forth for the last few years on whether or not this big old farmhouse was a mistake. With its unconventional layout and overly large rooms it often feels impossible to maintain and keep tidy, not to mention a waste of space to heat and cool.

After much debate alongside some moderate house hunting and extensive soul searching, we have decided to stay put. And, even though the square footage of our home is as large as ever, by reducing the contents inside, the whole house feels more luxurious.

Stay tuned for my upcoming home experiment. Have you ever wondered if downsizing your space will truly upsize your happiness? I wonder this All. The. Time. And, soon I will have more insight into whether this would speak true for our family.

Stay tuned and thanks for reading.

-Christina

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Decluttering, Korean Adoptee, Marie Kondo, Minimalism, Sparking Joy

After 4 Miscarriages I Consulted with a Specialist

January 28, 2021 by Christina

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I had 4 miscarriages in the past 18 months. Pregnancy loss is an all too common thing but I had no idea just how common it would become for me. As time continues on I wanted to do all I can to improve chances of a successful pregnancy so I scheduled a consultation with a reproductive specialist.

Disappointment with OB-GYN

My last pregnancy/miscarriage I tried a new OB-GYN private practice in my area. It is one that is held in high regard by several close friends. I only saw them twice but feel my situation was not thoroughly assessed nor taken seriously for the following reasons:

  • They knew my history of recurrent pregnancy loss, 3 in a row and 4 overall yet still brushed it off saying that I’m young and healthy and have had 2 successful pregnancies
  • I specifically inquired about use of progesterone to supplement natural levels of the hormone in early pregnancy and again they brushed it off saying that’s not proven beneficial in cases like yours.
  • I reported symptoms that have worsened in recent years including irregular heart rhythms and elevated fasting glucose levels during early pregnancy

What I did before seeing the specialist

  • Sought an updated physical with general practitioner
  • Updated blood work to include:
    • Thyroid
    • Lipid panel
    • Comprehensive metabolic panel
  • Self monitoring blood glucose levels

Consultation with Fertility Specialist discussion included:

  • Review of fertility history
  • Review of current health and symptoms
  • Possible early pregnancy support options
    • natural progesterone supplement
  • Test for anemia
  • Blood draw for A1C levels
  • Blood draw for natural progesterone level after ovulation occurs
  • Holter monitor for abnormal heart rhythms
  • Future pelvic sonogram if indicated

Things I’m doing moving forward

There are a number of things I am doing moving forward to improve overall health and wellness which in turn will support a healthy pregnancy should we conceive again.

  • Eating cleaner, more plant based, less sugar, less processed food
  • Exercise consistently (minimum of 4x/week)
    • Cardio (elliptical, treadmill, cycling)
    • Pilates
    • Yoga
  • Tracking cycle
    • ovulation kit
    • basal temperature monitoring
  • Sleep!!!! I am awful at getting enough sleep. I am naturally a night owl. I do my best thinking and am most creative at night it seems.

Takeaways

If anyone can learn anything from my experience these are my takeaways:

  • Less is more in the beginning. And what I mean by this is I wish I hadn’t gone to the OB so early for this past pregnancy. I saw them twice during the first trimester even moving up the last appointment to “give me peace of mind” that everything was okay. It was at that appointment that I found out that the baby had stopped growing and had already passed away. I saw it on the ultrasound and was measuring over much smaller than it should have so I had been walking around unknowing that my baby had died inside of me…not to mention approximately $1000 cost of those two ultrasounds and office visits.
  • With my miscarriage history I should have been leaving nothing up to chance for my own guilt prevention. What I mean by this is all of the little decisions I was making here and there, out of comfort or craving or convenience play a role in my mama guilt now. I’m talking things like poor eating choices, not exercising regularly, poor sleep habits, etc. I’m not saying I’m the worst out there and by general standards my habits are probably healthier than a lot but maybe I don’t have the same luxury of doing whatever and eating whatever I want during pregnancy. I know miscarriage happens often and may very well have happened regardless of what I was doing but it doesn’t stop the guilt from creeping in. So my takeaway here is if there is a next time for me then I’m going to do it right…for myself and for my baby. That way if another miscarriage occurs then I will know I did everything within my power and really that’s all any of us can do.
  • Don’t make plans. I learned this the hard way. I was about 9 weeks when we ordered our Christmas cards. The timing was such that by early December when they would be going out I would be ready to tell close friends and family. Already I was feeling more secure in the pregnancy since historically if I had made it this far along then the pregnancy had been successful for me. I thought what a perfect opportunity to announce to our friends and extended family that we were expecting! Of course it crossed my mind that there was a chance I would miscarry… I even considered ordering 2 sets of identical cards, with the only difference being the picture of our kids would or would not be holding the sonogram picture in the announcement. My mind interpreted this option as me “betting against the pregnancy”. So I didn’t order both sets which resulted in me having to order a second set later and now I have a whole set of unopened cards as a reminder of this loss. The takeaway: DON’T MAKE PLANS LIKE THIS. Take the cautious road to protect yourself and your heart.

The plan

The specialist recommended a few things moving forward.

  1. I start tracking my cycle closely with ovulation indicator kits and basal temperature readings.
  2. Call their office when I get a positive ovulation test so they can put in the order for a blood draw
  3. Pending natural progesterone levels, supplementing the hormone progesterone may be warranted
  4. Be fitted with holter monitor to further investigate the irregular heart rhythms
  5. If conception does not occur or it results in another miscarriage then she recommends a pelvic sonogram to check for anatomic abnormalities if we still wish to try in the future.

This all might very well be for none. She explained that though I had 3 miscarriages in a row there is a good possibility that still nothing is wrong with me and that it was just an unlucky streak. This I already knew but knowing myself and my personality type I need to ensure I am doing everything in my power. And if the worst thing from all of this is that I am eating healthier, exercising more and focusing on wellness habits then all the better.

At the very least I am glad I got an updated physical and blood panels completed because it had been a while since my last general, non pregnancy related visit. I am also glad it nudged me to get my heart palpitations checked out more closely.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

-Christina

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: infertility, Korean Adoptee, Korean Adoption, miscarriage

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Hi! I’m Christina,

I am a Korean Adoptee with New England Roots! Living and Loving New England Country Life while raising our babies and restoring our 1820s Farmhouse.  Homesteading and Farmhouse Inspiration. Coffee and Tea Lover. Book Addict.

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